My Funeral

A few notes about my eventual funeral.

First of all, if anybody attempts to perform, sing, quote, or even hum Wind Beneath My Wings, I will come back from the dead and steal a single sock from the perpetrator's dryer every time they do laundry. I'm serious. It's been done enough. I'll admit that the chances of anybody I know wanting to sing that song at my funeral are slim to none (and slim is driving a Ferrari out of town), but I want to make sure.

Anyway, the funeral should be a celebration of life. I recognize that people need to mourn, but I don't want people wallowing at my expense. Instead, everyone should share their favorite Reston Kid stories. When did I make you laugh (with or at me)? What did I help you learn? What did you teach me? What did we share?

I'd like to have some music, but I don't want to make people sing. Hymns are not my thing, but what about an organ playing nice arrangements of:

• Highway to Hell by AC/DC
• Always Look on the Bright Side of Life by Monty Python
• Good Riddance by Green Day

OK. Those are a bit out there, so they probably won't work. hat about:

• Enjoy Yourself (its later than you think) by The Specials
• Mercy, Mercy, Mercy by Cannonball Adderley
  

After the funeral, it's on to the repast, for which I should work up a playlist (check my iTunes for a "my repast" playlist). Afterwards, those who are willing should head to Poly Esther's or some similar dance club for a rip-roaring time.

BTW: I want to be cremated and have my ashes scattered at any (or all) of these places:

• North Shore of Oahu, HI
• Memorial Drive in Cambridge, MA (just West of the Harvard Bridge in the Fall as the sun sets)
• Glade Stream in Reston, VA (somewhere between Gold Cup and Hunting Horn)
  

I suspect that Mrs. Kid is still going to make me write up a real will to make all this official, but at least it's out there.