Ramble: Autumn, Part I

Dew evaporates off the meadow grasses lazily. The resulting mist hangs low enough that the clear autumn sun is unhindered. A 4-point buck stands on the bank of the stream, striking a pose like he is auditioning to be the next model for the Hartford logo. Everyone I see nods in mutual appreciation of the serenity that is this perfect morning in the Glade Stream Valley.

The big, perfect dear watches me plodding along and seems to wonder how I can put out so much effort, yet move so slowly. My top speed when I "run" is more of an amble, but it's not about speed for me. It's about feeling healthy and connected. Activity helps me feel healthier, while mornings like this help with the connectedness.

While raking leaves in the backyard just before dinner, I pause for a moment to look up at the stately oaks towering over me. They still have most of their leaves, so I will get to live this day again in a few weeks. Most excellent.

Ramble: Planning How to Spin My Next Loss

From a comment on the Language Log blog:

Reminds me of an apocryphal tale of an officer-enlisted football game where the enlisted men win. The next day, the command plan of the day reports: "Officers power through to a second place finish; enlisted men barely manage to come in next-to-last place."

Man, I need to use that line soon! Maybe next time Girl Kid is racing me somewhere.

The Redskins Are So Sad

Sally Jenkins got it right in her column Redskins need a GM bailout. The 'Skins are a terrible franchise and it starts at the top.

Update: Superfueled Freaksicle brings us The Grand Unified Theory of Daniel M. Snyder. Simply brilliant.

On an unrelated note, my favorite suggestion for dealing with their name issue is from Tony Kornheiser (and others): Let them keep the name, but change the logo to a couple redskin potatoes. Brilliant.

Here are some jokes a friend sent me a bit ago. I have no idea about the original source, so I am sorry for not attributing it properly.

HEADLINE: "D.C. Police are "cracking" down on speeders. For the first offense, they give you two Redskins tickets. (If you get stopped a second time, they give you two Nationals tickets.)"

Q. What do you call 47 millionaires sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A. The Washington Redskins.

Q. What do the Redskins and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q. How do you keep the Redskins out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal post.

Q. Where do you go in D.C. in case of a tornado?
A. To FedEx Field - they never have a touchdown there!

Q. What do you call a Redskin with a Super Bowl ring?
A. Senior Citizen

Q. How many Redskins does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A. We may never find out in the 21st century.

Q. What do the Redskins and opossums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Virginia's Special Plates

When I was a kid, all Virginia license plates were the same. Eventually, there were a few special plates--one with the state seal in the middle, one with a painting that looked like the Blue Ridge Mountains, and one featuring the state bird, tree, and flower. Life was simple then.

Now someone at the DMV has figured out how to make more tax revenue by catering to special groups. There are license plates for several schools (many of which I didn't know existed, and several of which are not even in Virginia), fraternities, military groups (including some I didn't know existed), and special interests.

Here are some interesting special interest plates that are available in Virginia:

• Robert E. Lee
• Sons of Confederate Veterans--That's right, folks. Virginia has a license plate with a confederate flag on it, and even has a version for those who ride a motorcycle.

Anyway, the options are interesting, but a bit disturbing. I decided to stick with my ten-year old free plates.

Planes and a City of White People

I went to Salt Lake City this week (I am writing this on Sunday after returning, but let's all pretend that I actually wrote last week.)

My four flights featured a 450-pound man in a seat next to me, a missed connection, a couple smelly 17 year-olds who were taking their first ever plane trip to a Megadeth concert, and a red-eye spent next to the only person on the flight with his light on. The plane trips were not ideal. They really made me miss the days when I was a frequent flier and could hang out in the Red Carpet Club and get lots of free upgrades.

Salt Lake City is probably a great place for anyone who is Mormon or who is out there to ski or hike. I am not Mormon and only wish I had the time to ski or hike, so the city is not much fun for me. It's a clean city with lots of views of beautiful mountains, but it lacks anything I normally associate with a city. There is little diversity. No interesting neighborhoods. No regional food or non-religious culture to speak of. No interesting architecture. Maybe I missed it all, but downtown Salt Lake City isn't much.

It's a visually lovely setting and the hotel was amazing, but it really made me miss the days when I used to take business trips to San Francisco and New York City.