Holiday Eating

A week or so ago, someone at the office sent me a list of Holiday Eating Tips. These are great, but I'd add one more to the list:

11. Bread is for suckers. That's how they get you. You can have bread any day, so why take up valuable stomach space with something so mundane? Save the room for more eggnog and pie.

Anyway, over the past couple years, I have dropped a couple pant sizes, but those old pants are sitting in my basement. Some say that keeping those big pants is a defeatist attitude, but I say it's planning ahead. I am all set to ramp up a size this week, then another size next week as I watch college football. I'll trim back down in the new year, but I like the idea that I am prepared for the ramp-up.

Note: I am ignoring this article until the new year.

What Makes a Great Company Holiday Party?

I have been to many company holiday parties at several companies and have an idea of what makes a party good and what makes one great. Here are some thoughts.

Food: You don't need fancy food. Parties with filet mignon are no better than parties with casseroles. On the other hand, you shouldn't skimp on dessert. A party with good cake and pie is better than a party with dry cookies.

Music: A live band is nice, but a good DJ is better than a lame band. Whether a band or a DJ, the musical entertainment should stick to good sets of music. No lame comedy or embarrassing people.

Alcohol: This is an absolute must. Not many people are much fun at the office, but they can't possibly be that boring in real life. Lubricate them with some spirits and you can see their real personalities come out.

Foolishness: Unless someone is ashamed to show up at work the next day, it wasn't a great party. Somebody should have hit or puked on the wrong person. Somebody should have turned the band into their own personal karaoke machine. Somebody should have said something stupid about their boss or someone's spouse.

I judge all company holiday parties by the way my first company did them. GRC had two parties. One was a black tie affair at a fancy hotel with a band or DJ and a nice sit-down dinner. It was very swank. The other party was hosted by my division and happened in the halls of the office. The drawing for the Super Bowl pool was one of the highlights of this informal party that featured a potluck and a couple kegs. Most of my favorite holiday party memories come from these parties:

• Sipping Canadian Mist and smoking great stogies in our security guy's office.
• Office chair races in the halls.
• Rhythmically impaired drunk people doing the Electric Slide.
• Floating kegs and beer runs six hours into the party.
  

My current company has a party that is fine, but not great (so-so band, nobody embarrassed the next day, nothing memorable), so I might need to figure out how to start a departmental party next year.

Thank Goodness Blagojevich Isn't Black (Too Bad Jesse Jr. Is)

When it came out that Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich was arrested for massive corruption, my first reaction was to check a photo and confirm that he is, in fact, not black.

I know it's shallow of me, but I'm a shallow guy. Any time I hear about someone doing something really dumb, I think "please don't let him be black." This happens when I hear about a string of murders, or an athlete making a fool of himself, or some idiot politician. I feel like we black folks get more than our fair share of self-inflicted negative press.

Let's try a short list of the infamous: Barry Bonds, Marion Jones, Plaxico Burress, Mike Tyson, Bobby Brown, Marion Barry, William Jefferson, Kwame Kilpatrick, Michael McGee. I could go on and on and on.

Unfortunately, Jesse Jackson, Jr. (who is quite black) is now entangled in the mess. I know it's petty of me, but I hope that few black politicians get pulled into this mess.

An Amazing Birthday

The day started when I dropped Girl Kid off for school and she didn't have to be pealed off my arm (as has been the norm recently). Next, some friends from work took me for a yummy breakfast at Amphora Diner. One of them was actually on vacation, but came to the diner (but not the office) anyway. It was a great way to start the day.

All through the day, I had birthday wishes from old and new friends on my facebook page, which was incredibly cool.

Finally, this evening's dinner at Clyde's was very nice. The highlight was getting presents from Mrs. Kid:

• Honey roasted peanuts from Plantation Peanuts of Wakefield (which are reminiscent of a detour we took a couple years ago on the way to the beach)
• The poster of the xkcd comic height (an idea she somehow got from this post)

My in-laws and Mrs. Kid's best friend got me music:

• Rare Earth's Greatest Hits, which includes a really long version of Get Ready (it's even longer than this one: part 1 and part 2)
• Traffic's eponymous second album, which has Feelin' Alright
• Led Zeppelin's Physical Graffiti, a double CD that features Kashmir
• Bob Marley's Legend, which has too many great songs to list
  

Anyway, it was a really great day.

My Triumphant Return to the Blog

(not that anybody noticed, but...) I didn't post anything this past week until Web Stuff Friday (which had some great stuff), and my lame excuse is that it was a busy week. Boy Kid had basketball practice, my company had a holiday party, and I had a long community meeting. I usually have a bunch of stuff lined up and ready to go before the week even starts, but last weekend was a bit too insane (when Girl Kid is sick, ain't nobody happy) so the cupboard was bare.

Anyway, I should try catching up, but I won't. I'll just pick it back up and try not to slip so badly again.

Upcoming entries (this is my way of forcing myself to write stuff)

• What makes a good company holiday party?
• Holiday preparations
• Blagojevich
• Bailouts

Ciao

Web Stuff Friday: Animals, Antimatter, and Sad Children

F*$k You, Penguin is hilarious. Some of the language is a bit harsh, but no more blue than a Denis Leary comedy album.

The Antimatter FAQ at CERN is a reaction to Dan Brown's book Angels and Demons, which is going to be a major motion picture soon. It's a nice quick overview of the truth about antimatter, but it's up to you whether you believe how little they can make....

pictures for sad children is another webcomic. it's pretty subtle, but sometimes quite funny. i like its low-key nature (start at the beginning). it has the best webcomics links page ever.

Web Stuff Friday: Ancient Jokes

The Jests of Hierocles and Philagruis (or here) is a 1,600-year-old book of jokes. Seriously.

ElfYourself allows you to make funny little videos.